That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
