Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
