Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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