I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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