I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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