I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
