any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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