worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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