why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
