I swear she didn't look like that last week.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
