I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
