There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
