i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
