I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Floor bacon is actually really good
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
