Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
