he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
