I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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