But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
