what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
