dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
