i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
