Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
