someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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