i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
