she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
