Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
