wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
