As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
