so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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