There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
