Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
