Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
