In America we eat man semen.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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