and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
