It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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