I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
