hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
