Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
