Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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