All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
