im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
