so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
