dude i'm inner monologue high
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
