I bet he comes in French.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
