I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
