Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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