i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
