I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
