Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I wish there were birth control emojis
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
