i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
